HOLE IN MY
HEART
There’s a gaping hole in my heart these days! How do I fill it with love, with joy, and with God? The loneliness I feel has left me with a huge void or emptiness that has left a hole in my heart. No Buddhist Monk or Baptist Evangelist can fill this hollow place,
left helpless in a world too wrapped up in itself, rather than for all of humanity. What I am seeking is a yearning for humanity, to drop “success” as defined by Western Civilization, and add peace, harmony and true love for one another. Will you help me on this journey?
Recently, I received a letter from my fellow prison buddy,
Rev. Jerome Zawada. In his
passionate letter he said; “Just having turned 69, I feel “wilder” than ever
inside, grateful for the opportunity to join others, like yourself, in matters
that have become absolutely critical in our day.” Jerome in November 2005, rallied to have
the immoral School of Americas (WHISC) closed down permanently. This school located at
Being 50% IRISH, I have become more learned about my
ancestral
The British attitudes towards the Irish were the same as the
NEW Americans attitudes towards the Native Americans population. Both the Irish and Native Americans were
considered inferior peoples, (also the African-Americans), who deserved nothing
more than subjection and colonization.
In both cases land was stolen by invaders, treaties were broken and
people uprooted and murdered. In
both cases, the immorality of violence seen as progress, murdered God-created
human beings – hundreds of thousands of Irish, Native-Americans, and
African-Americans. May God forgive
Like today, both
Just maybe, the American public needs to start reading social-non-fiction books with more of the truth than mainstream newspapers, magazines, radio and television offer. Use the internet to find factual evidence of the horrific acts of immorality your TERRORIST nation of “Freedom & Democracy” perpetuates here on American soil as well as foreign soil around the globe. Just possibly, the American society could learn, rather than be narrow-minded. Just possibly, we could turn FOX news off, or better yet the entire trash of television, and read, discuss, talk and learn. We are NOT the center of the Universe, nor a friend of God. We are the evil, immoral, barbarian invaders. We are NOT the good guys – yet!
Over 80% of our nation considers themselves Christian; at
least that is what we label ourselves.
If this is true, then we must act like Christians, like Jesus Christ, who
loved, who forgave, and who was non-violent. I can’t judge anyone but myself, but I
can forgive and I do, but will God, if we continue down the immoral path many of
us have chosen for our Nation.
When I turned 18, I ran to register to vote because I
honestly believed it was one way to serve God by electing people who will effect
positive change. I voted for myself
three times. I voted for a
Libertarian once, Ross Perot once, Ralph Nader once, I even voted for a Democrat
once. As you can see, my batting
average is very low in the field of electing winners. But, all the “winners” since I turned 18
have been losers for humanity, and losers for morality and God. My right as a free American to be able
to vote for morality first, then peace and social justice, mercy, compassion,
forgiveness, and most of all LOVE of all living creation is my ultimate truth
and reality for my earnest and diligent yearning for all of humanity. My heart breaks into two when people
like Reagan,
The entire universe, including the earth and all life forms
must be protected from the evil and greedy. It is our duty as citizens, as
Christians, as Jews to be foot soldiers of non-violence to guarantee everyone’s
human rights, not just Americans, but that of Iraqis,
I am proud to be an educated, independent thinker, who is
neither a Republican nor a Democrat.
I am neither a liberal nor conservative. I despise putting any kind of label on
people, especially if you are a maverick, independent thinker. What I am is a teacher/messenger of
truth, justice, mercy and love for humanity. God is the only authority that I am
accountable. Hence, I must follow
my heart, my soul, my conscience, my God into the voting booth, and into the
non-violent battlefield of life. My
God is neither a Republican or a Democrat, but is Independent – one through the
power of unconditional love and forgiveness cares and loves all it’s creation,
all of humanity, hence would find hatred, greed, vengeance and violence as
ultimately immoral. It is my
mission to expose those structural immoral policies and practices, and together
with you provide a positive new plan or direction to lead and care for all of
humanity. With this gigantic hole
in my heart, I continue to yearn for all humanity. I CRY, I CARE; I LAUGH, I HEAL; I LOVE
AND I CONTINUE TO LOVE. I love all
of you as a faithful mother/father, as a loyal sister/brother, as a trusted
friend, as a Rabbi, Imam, minister or priest. Your life is of my highest concern – I
would die to protect you and your human rights. I love all peoples, nations, cultures,
religions, colors, languages and sexual orientations. I love Adolph Hitler, Bin Laden, George
Bush and Tony Blair. I love true
Pro-lifers and Homosexuals. I love
murderers, rapists, and pedophiles.
I love my buddies in Waseca Federal Prison, my buddies attempting to
close the SOA, my buddies battling in favor of fair trade, rather than free
trade, my buddies on death row, my buddies boycotting Wal-Mart, like me, my
buddies the Irish, my buddies the IRAQI’s, the Palestinians, the Iranians, the
Colombians, the Native-Americans and the African-Americans. I love the water, trees and
mountains. I love the waterfalls,
hummingbirds and butterflies. I
love fresh air, wildlife and the rich soil of
But, the significant hole in my heart remains! Looking over the handful of pictures
that remain in my life, family and friends is where my heart would love to be in
this stage of my life. There is a
picture of my Grandmother Fisher and me laughing our heads off. She didn’t laugh much in her life, but I
was always one who could get her to smile and laugh. This was one of those rare opportunities
captured by the camera. She has
been gone for many years now, but I dream of her often. Then, there is a photo of my bride all
dressed in white with gorgeous flowers of yellow and white. Kim Benish-Diehl stood upon the altar
like a radiant angel some 17 years ago – still as beautiful as ever. Now, I sleep alone in bed nine hours
away from the Mother of my son.
With no one to cuddle with or wrap my arms around, so much I miss her
when we were in love. We had dreams
of running a year round camp, all so long ago as faint as the many good times we
shared together. Snapshots with my
Mother, Sharon at my high school graduation hugging and laughing with me. She has always been there for me, my
best friend! Yet, another
illustration of me graduating from
Where do I go from here? Being all alone in
Yet, we must briefly explore one last issue which is making
the hole in my heart seem like it is a meteor crater in size, and that is GLOBAL
WARMING!!! Well, it has begun
rapidly over the last few years to become a looming fate only befitting of some
6 billion people. Climate change is
affecting us already, but if we don’t put the breaks on fossil fuels, the filthy
rich will die right alongside the poorest in the ghettos. According to a Pentagon report, the
changes resulting from global warming could cause such havoc that they would
bring our civilization to the brink of anarchy and even nuclear war within the
next 25 years.
“We know that if climate change is not stopped, all parts of the world will suffer. Some will even be destroyed, if not all,” stated British Prime Minister Tony Blair, 2002. The still vocal minority who deny that global warming is happening is now about as credible as people who still think the earth is flat, or smoking is not harmful to your health. According to the vast majority of credible climate specialists, the rapid changes we’re experiencing have little to nothing to do with nature, and everything to do with us!
Burning fossil fuels to produce the energy to run our cars, homes and offices creates heat-trapping carbon dioxide, and lots of it. The average American passenger vehicle pumps about six tons of carbon dioxide out of its exhaust – that’s around 11,000 pounds of the greenhouse stuff just from one car. Now, multiply that by 542 million cars in the world. WOW!!! Our use of fossil fuels is responsible for as much as 85% of the carbon dioxide that has been added to our atmosphere.
We have somehow replaced God, the creator of earth, and have been abusing the earth for some years now, like mistreating a child or pet over and over again without any form of punishment. We have chosen a world devoid of God and in its place the modern conveniences that are our final destiny of damnation. Serious about helping humanity and God’s magnificence in all of creation, first start by reading “Global Warming,” by Chris Spence. The hole in my heart is whether people take it serious enough to truly investigate to save themselves and their children and grandchildren. This is the most truthful and dire emergency of catastrophe there ever will be on earth. Be a part of the team to defend God’s planet earth and all of humanity.
HORACE, a Roman poet and philosopher, warned that such arrogance by mankind, hurting of the planet, could easily come back to haunt or destroy us, predicting that if humans pushed their planet too hard, it would eventually push back.
GOD BLESS THE WORLD…